Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
