I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
