Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
