remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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