I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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