just tell him i said nine months
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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