It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
