nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
