I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
