absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
