I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
