Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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