So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
