im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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