do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I AM VODKA MAN
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
