Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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