I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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