If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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