I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its about making memories worth repressing
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
