You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
