moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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