I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
