dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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