I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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