just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
