Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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