It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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