the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
