We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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