We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
