I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mouth tastes like poor choices
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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