i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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