I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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