we have officially lost it.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
