You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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