it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
