It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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