i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
