3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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