I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize