I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
