Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
