We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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