Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
