Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
