Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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