Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
