Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
