So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
