now i know why i became what i already was.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
