My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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