okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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