i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize