I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
