I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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