wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize