There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i jhust puked up my retainher.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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