i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
