I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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