just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
