You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
