Buhtt sex?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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