so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
