you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
