"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
